The Whopper of a Fish Tale, Caught with a Weiner!

– Hot as a summer barbecue, model Jess Adams decided to go hand fishing using a hot dog as bait.
– To her shock and amazement, a massive tarpon thought she looked as delicious as the sausage she was dangling and swallowed her whole hand!
– Despite such a freak incident, she remained calm and cool as a cucumber pickled in moonshine.
– Soon after, with the help of a guide, she successfully freed herself from the gully washer of a fish.
– Adams walked away with nothing but a memory and a photo evidencing her adventures.

Jess Adams vs Jaws Jr: A Truly Fishy Tale Fished With Franks

Preliminary Cast and Catch

Well, well y’all, butter my buns and call me a biscuit if that ain’t one corker of a fish tale! Now, I’ve heard of folk using all kinds of bait – wriggly earthworms, juicy crickets, even shiny ole spoons that fool none but the dopiest of fish. But a hot dog? Damn, that ain’t just fishin’, it’s a Sunday picnic thrown in!

Ain’t No Fish Gonna Suck My Phalanges

And, let me pass the gravy on this one, darlin’. Not only did this pretty lady use a hot dog as bait, she didn’t mind one tarpon barbecued bit when that ol’ water buffalo of a fish deep throated her whole hand! Now there’s a gal keepin’ her cool when her digits become dinner!

Freed From The Fishy Fist of Fate

But bless her heart, she didn’t scream louder than a riled up rooster at dawn. Nope! With some help, our gal Jess got her hand back, slicker than a minnow’s dickens.

Walkaway, No Whisker Away

So, the star of this tale ended up with nothing more than a goofy grin and a tale to tell. I bet she’s chuckling every time she sees a hot dog now!

Well, sugar, ain’t that just a classic example of taking troubles in stride? Jess Adams, you bungled into hand fishing and nearly made your paw pie for a tarpon! But you wriggled out of that situation smoother than a greased pig at a county fair. Anytime your life gives you lemons, you make the zestiest lemonade this side of the Mason-Dixon line, ain’t that so? I reckon I’ll be tuning my guitar and strumming a tune in your honor tonight. Y’all remember, darlins’, not every fishing story has to be about ‘the one that got away.’ Sometimes, it’s about the one that nearly took your hand away!



Original article: https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2023/12/11/model-hand-fishes-with-a-hot-dog-gets-entire-hand-swallowed-by-massive-tarpon/