Well, Bless His Heart: Footballer Takes A Bite Outta Nashville’s Nightlife… Literally
• Pretty college football player from Vanderbilt got himself in a pickle, arrested for biting two bouncers at Nashville’s Barstool Bar. I tell y’all, it wasn’t his ‘bark’ they were worried about… it was clearly his ‘bite’.
• The misbehaving lad’s cousin has piped up, saying the whole ruckus kicked off because a lady pal of theirs got a little aggressive with her drink and started a brawl. High spirits in more ways than one, it seems!
• Despite his hard-headed behaviour, this footballer is no dummy in the class – he’s studying for a degree in human and organizational development. Maybe he thought ‘organizational development’ was about organizing a hootenanny down at the bar.
• Barstool Sports is considering whether to ban the player or give him a job. Now wouldn’t that be a turn up for the books? From bounty bouncer biter to bourbon bar bouncer. What a leap!
My Sassy Southern Take
Well, sugar, doesn’t this just beat all? A smart young footballer, who should know better, gets himself in a whole heap of hot water for biting bouncers. Not once, mind you, but twice! Lord have mercy, it’s not a home-cooked meal that boy needs rather than a night on the town.
There’s a whole mess of bad decisions here, but I’ve got a hunch this could just be the wake-up call he needs. Nothing sobers you up faster than a face-to-face meeting with the law and a mugshot you wouldn’t want your granny to see.
As for Barstool Sports considering hiring him, well, I must’ve been born at night but it wasn’t last night. Hiring a wrestler might bring in the crowds, but hiring a biter? Honey, that’s a liability I don’t think their insurance will cover.
So here’s hoping our footballer friend swaps out his biting for some better decision-making skills. I reckon that Human and Organizational Development degree of his could use ’em. Now, let’s all raise a glass to better behaved nights out, and remember: keep your teeth to yourself!
Original article: https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2023/12/08/vanderbilt-football-player-arrested-for-biting-two-bouncers-at-barstool-nashville-bar/